Every self-respecting website has a misc section. And, even though this website is by no means self-respecting, I thought it ought to have one. Scroll down to see various things, such as site links and fanlistings. I shall now distract you with a muffin.

Finished staring at the muffin? Good. You may want to have a go at our Alfred Molina's Career Crossword, by the way.

[DOWNLOAD "Muffin Man Dance" aka "Enthusiastically Hetrosexual Men Trying To Dance"]
[ Mp3 file | 2.5 mb]

Made by yours truly, this is an MP3 disco tune with Alfred Molina quote goodness. The version above is the low quality one - if you want the higher quality version, email me at dark_pheonix7@hotmail.com and I'll send you the 7 mb version.
Legal blah-blah: The tune and all music samples are © me. Interview sound bytes from Trust Me, tune sequenced on Acid Xpress 5.0. Alfred Molina's voice is used without permission but with love. This tune is in no way, shape or banana to be sold or altered in any way. And no, Alfred Molina has never said "Enthusiastically hetrosexual men trying to dance", it was a sentance craftily patched together by me.

This noodle reminds me of Doc Ock's actuators. Can you see the resemblence?

Now you can read about my best plastic buddy.

My dear Doc Ock was purchased quite some time ago from a local seller of toyish goods. He was bought by my dearest mother, who had noticed that my eyes had been glued to him for quite some time. Having a mother is a good thing. I pity species that clone themselves like microbes. Who makes their coffee for them? Who buys their pie? My Doc Ock is approximatley one cubit (that's elbow to wrist, isn't it?) tall, and has lots of nice little details (see collage to the right) including fetching pants, sculpted hair and puzzling blue paint on his grabby arm ends. Lots of facial details were nicely carried on, they even got his slightly crooked nose right (except it leans to the wrong side...Oh well). His grumpy expression is probably due to his having to put up with my endless puns (such as "What do you call a cyborg chef? Doctor Woktapus!") The only problem is...WHY DOES HE HAVE MUSCLES? WHY!? What have they done with the Molina flab we all know and love!? I don't want pecs and a six pack dammit, I want a nice round torso without unsightly muscle lumps. Why would a middle aged scientist have muscles? Grrrr.

To the right is my Doc Ock is in all of his multi-limbed glory. He's standing on the table, contemplating his inevitable battle with the Grumpy Orange. You see, apart from being my faithful Doctor Who-watching, room-vaccuuming and and coffee-drinking companion, my Doc Ock has a terrible weight on his mind. One day he was scuttling over the furniture and scaring dust particles, and he came across a rather grumpy piece of fruit. I had forgotten to warn him about our exceptionally crotchety orange. Within minutes all- out war had been declared between Doc Ock and the Grumpy Orange. Naturally, I sent the script idea to some friends of mine and a multi-million dollar feature film is being hypothesised as we speak.

You are privileged to view this magnificent sneak behind-the-scenes picture from the upcoming "Doc Ock vs Grumpy Orange" epic movie saga. Here you can see his first meeting with Grumpy Orange (the special effects department is later going to turn the hand holding him into a less obvious shade, probably a light purple). "Doc Ock vs the Grumpy Orange" was written by three underaged marmots listening to Duran Duran played sideways. The script is so confusing it is going to take Alfred Molina five years to learn.

But life for my Doc Ock isn't all arguing with oranges and putting up with my constant hugging. His genius is still working on creating a sustainable energy source. Here is a photo of his latest stroke of genius - converting a Lexmark printer into a sustainable source of energy. I discovered his plan when one day I walked into the computer room to find him attached to the ceiling and mumbling "The power of the cyan in the palm of my hand!" under his breath. This might explain the puzzling bits of blue paint on his grabby bits. I wish him the best of luck, but am doubtful that his experiment will yield any success because the ink is rather low.

And now it is time for some terrible Doc Ock puns. Because they must be said.

"What do you call a supervillan who is very good at Japanese cooking? ... Doctor Woktapus!"
"What do you call a supervillan who has a smoked pig's thigh? ... Doctor Hoktapus!"
"What do you call a supervillan who taunts people? ... Doctor Mocktapus!"
"What do you call a supervillan who flies with others of his kind? ... Doctor Flocktapus!"
"What do you call a supervillan who stops theives from opening doors? ... Doctor Locktapus!"
"What do you call a supervillan who receives boats? ... Doctor Docktapus!"
"What do you call a supervillan who is 'popular' at college? ... Doctor Jocktapus!"
"What do you call a supervillan who is polite before entering a room? ... Doctor Knocktapus!"
"What do you call a supervillan who is sedimentary? ... Doctor Rocktapus!"
"What do you call a supervillan who is amazingly spiffy in every way, looks simply wonderful, has a hugely intelligent brain and four actuators coming from his back? ... Doctor Ocktapus. Obviously."

"You know, if you cloned Doc Ock you would get eight pies." "How?" "He'd be Doctor Ockt'a'pie."

"What do you get if you cross Doc Ock with an orange? ... I was hoping you'd know, it's got our breakfast juice and is demanding we put the power of the Bun in the palm of his hand."

An Actuator's acne is actually another alloy's altogether anthropomorphic announcement of an accounting appointment.

I haven't written that much, so I'll sandwich my fanfiction here in the Misc section. For fanfiction from Alfred's other roles, see their induvidual pages (ie. there is some in the Chocolat section ) Click on the title to read the story.

> Actuatorly Challenged <
(Length: 250 words | Finished: Yes | Genre: Silly)
(Plot: Four mechanical arms coming from your back can be quite an inconveniance)

> Linguistically Confuzalibonkled <
(Length: 404 words | Finished: No | Genre: Rather silly)
(Plot: Doc Ock survived at the end of the movie! But at what cost?)

A